I’ve just read most of the articles you’ve put on your site. They are so moving, it really breaks my heart to see that you’re such a nice person, that you feel sadness from time to time. Sometimes I think that it’s the words not the facts what moves me so much, your words are so wonderful. People normally want to flee from certain ideas, I should say all of us do, although there are people like you who want to face the problems, who want to share them with others; will there be someone there to receive them? …It’s true, this life is a very short one, one comes and goes before one has time to think. What difference could one make in such a short period of time? Does it matter really?
I titled this entry in Spanish because I received an email from my very good Spanish friend. His sincere words brightened up my day. I’ve learned to share and appreciate–that’s what a beautiful life is. In the past few weeks, I constantly changed the permission of my space for fear some of my writings would be shown to people who were not supposed to read. However, I set it to private then I changed it back to public; and I set it back to private again, later I changed it back to public…just this setting and resetting repeats over and over again–that can tell my mind is very conflicting. I thank my friend Jose for his words like a mirror, helping me to see the deep inside me. I’ve digested his words many times…each time I understand the need of myself better. Yes, instead of being secretive, I am sharing, perhaps only few of my friends know me well in this regard. I talk to them, telling them what’s going on in my life, asking them how’s their life…always me, always me the first one who raises series of questions. My very good peer friend probably has thought of me as a notorious "problem kid." because of my non-stop questions. I am curious, but more so I want my friend know about me through my questions. It feels so good that one remark strike the sympathetic chord of some people–when the spark of wisdom collide with each other. Indeed, sometimes I don’t know what I am talking about or writing about, but words and thoughts just flow through my fingers, and at that moment I know I want to share with those who understand me and care about me. God knows, this sharing pleasure is such a wonderful thing! My world is not always sunny and exciting, more so in darkness or under the grey sky. Dad once said, only those sentimental or even full of sadness artworks arouse people more effectively and become everlasting masterpieces. I tried to taste that emotional side of human nature, it’s so enchanting indeed. I am not negative about hapiness and joy but I cherish more when one falls, when one hurts, when one sorrows and when one comtemplates… That’s life–full of ups and downs, when passing the valleys we learn to grow, learn to survive, learn to be smart. But even so, I’d much like to advice those vulnerable young friends, do not dwell on the downs too long or you will sink and it’ll be harder to climb up.(in the tone of a wise old man)
Dad once said, do not read too much of the poems of Song Dynasty when you are still young coz the ideas are too pessimistic for a youth like you. Do I need to read Mao’s red book? –I thought back then, coz it’s more uplifiting. Nevertheless, I didn’t do either but let my own characters develope by themselves. I don’t want to be influenced by particular school of art or genre of lit. I choose to spread my wing of imagination, is it too much Utopian? Ha~I guess I am.
Thank you my friend. I appreciate your feedback so much. Your words encourage me to open the window of my heart and share. I will, and I hope I can keep it up. Likewise, I am fortunate to have a friend like you to be with me facing our life problems. Sharing takes courage, needs time, builds credibility. And I start with an excerpt of Jose’s letter. Muchas gracias, mi buen amigo Jose!!!