If you know what I am thinking…

Just now I added two more URL of my friends’ space. One is my very good friend since childhood(however, there is no words in her space only pictures taken in the UK); the other one is my Japanese cyberfriend who is studying Chinese. I bet her Chinese is better than my Japanese. ūüôā A few minutes ago I also¬†took a look at my elementary school classmate’s space, the same–no words but only pictures. He is also studying in the UK.
 
Don’t know why, after seeing the pictures my eyes are wet. I¬†know it’s not from¬†weariness coz I am not tired. I got an email from my American friend who is newly married. From her Christmas letter, I could feel the joy at her wedding and her happiness. She’s about to visit Brazil in no time with her hubby. How sweet it will be! In her letter, she also mentioned about her study in Australia and the travel in New Zealand afterwards. I spent some time visiting the travel photo album a few days ago. There were pretty but not¬†so much breathtaking as the ones¬†taken by¬†my Chinese friends in the UK.
 
All of¬†a sudden, the images of Liverpool, Blackpool, Edinburgh, Sydney, Kiwi, Quebec etc. flood into my mind. It’s just like a video tape rewinding, and the influx of flashbacks is¬†flicking in my brain. If you know what I am thinking, you will come to comfort me; If you know what I am thinking, you will feel the empathy with me; If you know what I am thinking, you will not want to see me suffering like this.
 
I am listening to the OST of "Perhaps Love"–beautiful tone but sad. That will more or less affect my mood in composing this entry. These days I have been thinking¬†about moving. I don’t know¬†where I want to move, but do want to change the enviroment. Not because I don’t like my job, but am¬†trying to escape from this sentiment. I don’t know how much¬†it will change, but I guess new enviroment and people may help me¬†get rid of¬†some obsolete point of view. Perhaps Shanghai, perhaps Harbin or perhaps somewhere secluded¬†but close to nature. I won’t have any regret¬†if¬†I am in¬†the embrace of nature when I’m leaving this world–that little wooden hut standing by the seashore–is¬†it where I belong?
 
I often think my remained days belong to those old water towns in Yangtze River Delta or the northeastern China, as I miss those places so much. The snow scene touched me; the water and bridges touched me and above all, the tranquility of the nature touched me. The elderly often say it takes a long time to search for the right man to rely upon; but I say I have been in search of the absolute place for hiding myself.
 
Searching, searching, searching, searching…follow my heart keep searching…If you know what I am thinking, you will be with me now. My tears wash off the dust of the path, my heartbeats scare away¬†the monsters on the way, and my¬†sparkling eyes brighten up the¬†journey. Searching, searching, searching…follow my heart keep searching…¬†
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