Lost in inspiration

First of all, the update: my company invited us to watch movie last Sat. So we went to the theater to watch the blockbuster "King Kong." It was a thrill! I didn’t expect the movie was so good. It mixed with adventure and romance. I personally like the scene that King Kong was having fun with the blond-hair girl on the ice, which surrounded by Xmas trees with colorful bulbs and snow. It was a classic scene–beauty and the beast. Although I haven’t seen King Kong before, I mean even the original one filmed in 1930s, I like the appearance of Kong–I’ve never thought of King Kong as an ugly monster or a dangerous beast, in fact, Kong is an adorable creature. Kong gave me a feeling that I wanna give him a hug. Hahaha…unfortunately, I am not a blondie. That fun playing scene has stayed in my mind ever since I left the theatre. I was on the verge of shedding tears when watching the separation between King Kong and his blonde sweetheart. Probably I have also experienced the longest separation myself in real life. The sentiment can be so close to reality.
Okay, after the update, it should be my theme for this entry. Strange enough, when I was on my way to work, a thought was pounding on my head so strongly…but after I checked out my friend’s space, my mind is blank now and my heart is a bit heavy. Am I lost in inspiration? That sounds a bit ridiculous and hilarious. I think I am back to the origin of myself–being contradictory. My contradictions are way more complicated than "To be or not to be, that’s a question." If we choose to live, then life is not only a question between to live or to die. There are many many choices we have to make, sometimes we are not that lucky, no choices, nor alternatives but dilemma. I am facing one, say, accept or not? If one stone can kill two birds, can one have two favorite things at the same time?
My friend who is now in England said it’s a bit tough for her to live by herself, especially when facing obstacles. She needs comfort and shoulder to cry on. I almost wanna tell her when you really have what you wish for, it will be difficult to get rid of. I think that very thought hitting on my head earlier was a self-evaluation question, something like how to become a no-string-attached person, similar to that. But I’m just not sure what it is. That thought is away from me, it doesn’t ring a bell at all. Before I get back my certain memories, I wanna say to myself I don’t need to envy others, no more sobbing…If the experience has happened in your life, even just once in a life time, it’s gratifying. I compared my winter trip to Harbin with my friend’s to Switzerland, the scenery is pretty much similar except the great differences in signs, the architecture and people. Adapted from my friend’s French word–C’est la vie, everywhere is the same. I don’t see the snow in Switzerland is whiter or the sky is brighter than those in Harbin. It is right that a saying says, wherever you travel, the essence is your mood. If you can obtain the ideal mood on the journey, then your travel must be fantastic. I remember in one of my travel journals, I wrote that I had different feelings on different trips…(wait a sec. I will excerpt the lines here later.)
"Compared to the feelings in my previous trips–exhilaration in Harbin and Sanya, curiosity in Singapore and Malaysia, depression in Hong Kong, arrogance in Shanghai, patriotism in Beijing, appreciation in Guilin, admiration in Suzhou and Hangzhou, I seemed to have difficulty in finding an accurate word to describe my feeling about Wuxi. Perhaps it would be like that about Dalian—my liking grew later on until I knew more about the city. I hoped it would be the case for this trip to Wuxi."
When I say I don’t wanna fool myself, I say it but I don’t mean it. And I know I have been deceiving myself. If you don’t like something, you can burn it, destory it; then the next minute you may feel sad when looking at the ashes or fragments. But what about memories, what about the experience you had? Can you erase them, terminate them for ever? "What do you wanna erase from your memory?"–this thought has been in my mind as a source for a short story-to-be. What my friend says is correct, be careful of your invitation! I shall say to myself, be careful of your whims and fancies.  

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s