I don’t know if there is an end to this kind of life–I seem really ticked off very easily if thing do not go as my will. Last night after a burst of tears, I thought whether smashing things or boxing would be a better way to vent. This morning I shed tears again. My eyes are still tired from my sleeping and crying. Mom used to say tears wouldn’t be worthy any more if I cried that often. I believe my tears have swept away my depression. I always sense something may go wrong. As the theory goes, things can be wrong will go wrong. There IS something wrong with me. I don’t know how to feel good about life. No way! 
Yesterday I glanced a title in an old newspaper–You are sad in the dark if you are sad. I didn’t read the content. I am sad no matter in the brightness or in the dark. Because of sadness, I cry; because of sadness, I cannot write well; because of sadness, I lost interest in everything, including my vacation, my appetite and my hobbies. The wonderful inspirations which used to haunt my mind is no longer around me now. So I become an out-of-source, self-abase, inconspicuous and lousey writer. No reader will give a damn about me. All I write will be only appreciated by myself. The world suddenly bewilders me–so fuzzy and is spinning around so fast. Do I see the glaring ray of light from heaven or a completely pitch dark abyss of hell?
How many times does a human being cry in his/her own life? We were crying to come into this world; we might cry in pain to leave this world too. So they are our first and last cryings. But how many altogether in one’s life? Nobody can figure it out.

2 thoughts on “Crying

  1. Thanks sweetie, I will be fine. Yeah talking with friends may help but sometimes I just feel a bit abrupt to say something to others who are totally the outsiders. I don\’t know where to begin to talk about my sadness. 🙂

  2. why r u so sad? becos things didn;t go as ur will?
    crying maybe one way to get over it, and poouring our  ur feelings to ur friends may also be another way to get out of the trap. as ur friend, however, i have to say that i don;t know how to help u for being away so far. sometimes,maybe friends actually are just of little help to ur sadness,the keypoint is on ur own,depending on how u treat the whole thing
    well,i know that it\’s always easier said than done
    anyway,hope everything goes well on u~~ 😉 

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