Never have I been so anxious on Friday like today. Is it because this week is really too long for me? Or is it I want my home Internet get back on badly? Or is it I miss the peaceful moment to sit down and write? Or is it because I really wanna give myself a break and get everything off my mind?
I don’t know. But I am waiting…waiting for my mind to come back, to concentrate, to think, to react; waiting for a chance to develop my career, to realize my dream, to fulfil my life.
The music becomes noisy. I turn it off and continue to write something… I thought I didn’t have anything to write about on this anxious Frinday until I chatted with a pompous brat who is studing aboard for some years. The conversation once again prove my conception about shallow Chinese foreign students. They don’t know about their motherland or they are reluctant to learn; or perhaps they know too many natigative opinions about the Party, thus their loathing to China grows, some even become anti-Communists or cynical. Our motherland feels ashamed to have these disloyal sons and daughters to do the wrong publicity about herself. With the help of their misunderstanding of China, the foreign press misreport China. They only learn to dig out the dark side of a country and glorify their value of capitalism. Alas, at last China will become the only antagonist on this planet that every country has to confront.
I am not a patriotic Chinese citizen but I am aware of many threats that China is facing with. This morning on my way to work, I suddenly thought to myself, would a trip abroad make me like my country more or dislike it more? Come to think of it, it’s a good question. ‘Cause I can’t find an appropriate answer to it. Take the example of Jakarta, there’re goods and bads about this city. Probably when thinking of the good things, I will think China is really far behind to reach its goal of "Four Realizations"; while thinking of the bad things, I’d rather benefit the good parts from China.
Maybe it’s the same thing–Chinese who study abroad would like to stay outside longer instead of coming back to China, some may even betray a marriage for a permanent residence. Their vanity is unquestionable. Bias are heard all the time, like "China won’t have a good future.","It’s difficult to make a better life in China.","China is such a limited place to develop oneself." so on and so forth. Their cognitions of their motherland and the country they are in are unbalanced. Above all, I hate those Chinese who take vows to get their visas but in the end they do not practise their vows, and instead they make conterfeit documents to deceive people. That’s disgraceful!
Alas, the society is just like that. I’d hold my peace with my judgement.