I start to believe that my dream is my mind reflection. Last night I had a very intriguing dream. I know one thing quite different from the past is this dream continued even though my mind was sort of awake (yet my eyes were not). I didn’t get up until the dream ended with a satisfying ending. I took a shower in the morning, hoping a shower would wake me up. However, my eyes were still a bit fatigued while my mind was dwelling on that interesting dream…
A good friend of mine is leaving for the States this week. It’s my problem, I guess. I’d cry and be very gloomy if my good friends are leaving me, no matter whether they are away just for a short period or it’s an eternal farewell. If it goes worse, it may sometimes take days for me to get better. I remember that time when my Kiwi friend was leaving China, I sobbed my heart out. I guess someone who don’t know me might think I was crying for bad news. I remember clearly that my good friend said to me, "It seems to me that you like crying."
"I’m afraid so," I answered honestly, "At least that was the only effective way for me to vent my depression, pressure, anger and all sort of bad feelings." In fact, I’ve found out lately that I cry for happiness too. Just joking–I think I need to look for a guy who can really understand my tears rather than my heart.
Anyway, reflected the real life stuation, my dream last night was about leaving too, but it was me who was leaving the States. (Deep down inside me, I’ve been dreaming to step on the land of freedom. But I often deny it when being asked…see, my dream has told me where I really wanna go.) Before I caught my plane, I went to a post office in the neighborhood of my good friend’s home. (The one who is leaving China this week.)
A Chinese worker at the post office asked me in Chinese, "What can I help you?"
"I’d like to mail three post cards," I said in Chinese.
On the back of the post cards, I wrote the addresses–one to Aunt Linda in NY, one to western daddy in Arkansas, and one to my good friend, on the other side of which was a map of the USA made of jigsaw puzzles. (Another connection with the reality was that I just finished two jigsaw puzzles at home, and in fact, one of them is a map of the world.) I left a note to my friend:
Sorry I missed you when I was here in your neighborhood. I am leaving the States today. I’d like to send you this post card to remind you of my visiting to your state and the others in the country too. Take care!!!
(As a matter of fact, "Sorry I missed you" was the sentence I discussed with my friend yesterday.) Of course, my eyes were wet when I was thinking of the flashbacks. The plane took off while my memories were left behind…
Oh lord! Isn’t the dream very real? I think so. It reveals my feeling and reflects my mind. Even till now when I am composing this entry, recalling my dream, my eyes were damp…
Do not ignore your dreams at night. No matter whether it’s a nightmare or a wet dream, or even a freaky one, it somewhat tells you what your mind and heart want–at least I believe so.