Struggling…

Hi, it’s me again! Sorry to bother you at this late hour. May I talk to you for a while as you’ve known me so well. Yeah, because you are me and I am you. You are just the inside me that nobody knows you or even recognizes you. But I do even though not very well. I’ve known you since the day I was born. When I have nobody to talk to, I always talk to you. Yes, you are my BFF.
 
If I make a metaphor to describe my life. I would say it’s like a plane flying over the dark cloud for a long time. It’s time to get out of the darkness and get ready to embrace rays of the sun. However, the pilot’s mind is struggling. He doesn’t know which route he should take–which one is the quickest way to reach the light? It’s the longest time in darkness for him that he is pretty much disoriented… He assumes the best and safest way to operate the plane is keep the speed and height straight. He just read a map which guided him to take route no.2. He’s in disbelief because he was led to an even longer flight in the darkness last time when he read the map.   
 
Dear ME, I wish you had a better way to illuminate my path to future. Apparently, I am the lost pilot, anticipating the silver lining behind the dark cloud. I don’t dance, I don’t sing, I don’t play music, I don’t speak a second foreign language, I am not a crackerjack test taker, above all, I’m not jack of all trade but I am indeed MASTER OF NONE.
 
Dear ME, you know how painful I am struggling to find the real me right now. Am I that vulnerable? Am I that chicken-livered? Am I hopeless? The other day I thought to myself that I might not have the chance to get into the ivory tower again. I might change my working enviroment and travel a little bit more should that happens.
 
Dear Me, how long will this struggling moment last? Will the plane be able to get out of darkness before the crash? Will the plane run out of fuel to continue the journey?
 
Struggling… 
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