I’ve written a lot of stuff but all of a sudden the laptop was hacked! Damn! All my faithful words are gone. And I have to start it all over again! It’s more like a flood, washing away everything from me.
What’s worse was I had a bad fall tonight while mopping the floor. Gosh! It was an unexpected fall. Although I didn’t hurt badly or anything, I still can feel my palm, wrist and hip are sore. I couldn’t be more sensitive than at that moment when I was fallen. I couldn’t say anything but climbing up immediately and pretending it wasn’t a big deal. Yeah, you gotta do that especially in front of those who care about you. The less you mention about it, the better. At least they won’t worry about you. Well, only you know how painfully it was–my palm is still sore; my wrist is numb, it seems to have lost the strength; and my hip, actually my thigh is painful too.
I can’t remember when my last collapse is. The only impressive ones ended up with stitches though. This time the pain is gonna be with me for another couple of days, I suppose. Thank God! I didn’t crack any bones or anything. Compared to the mental collapse, the physical one is better. At least it will get better after some time. While the mental collapse sometimes may take a long long long time to recover. Just remember, whatever pain you have, don’t show it to those who care about you. I told myself when I was on the floor, “get up quickly and be strong!” Yep, life is like that, you gotta be strong no matter how painful you are suffering.
It’s been quite a while that I haven’t had such a FREE weekend that I can do some research online for my own. I checked out the information about two tourist places–Penang and Phuket. Although I am not planning to go anywhere during the coming vacation, it’s still a good idea to dream about it. Both places are the ones I wanna go, however, they are in different countries. I still cannot pick out the choice between them. If considering new experience to a country and adventure, I’d favor Phuket; but if considering personal feeling, I’d favor Penang. Probably the transexual culture from Thailand still makes me sick. I am not sure. Anyway, the world is so realistic that basically no money no talk. 🙂 Being a peterpan might be the best idea, you can always get your satisfaction in your dream world.
From time to time I do feel myself pathetic. For instance, that day when I had to sit at the stair on the bus as there was no seat available after picking up the Swedish sailors from "Gotheburg;" or for some reason I had to have a lousy lunch box in the heat as I could feel my sweat coming down from head to toe; or like what happened tonight–I had a surprising collapse while doing housework. My body was painful as hell but I gotta pretend it’s fine and continue to finish the rest of work. Holy Moley!!! Some time last week on my way home, a beggar girl was sitting next to me while her beggar granny was sitting behind me. All of a sudden, I felt I was trapped! On one hand, I was sorry for the girl. Looking at her dirty hands and skinny body, I asked myself "Why would the girl end up with such a life at such a young age?" On the other hand, I said to myself "Hey, watch out! Don’t get too close to them, or their smell and dirt would spread over to me." People on the bus gave them a weird look. I couldn’t figure out if that was a look of sympathy, or a look of disdain or even a look of indifference. I was about to help when the driver asked the old lady to pay for the bus fee. She was searching for her pocket for quite a while. Since the driver no longer nagged about it, I didn’t do anything but only alertly waiting for my stop.
Why did I talk about my adventure on the bus? Maybe being pathetic is a kind of misfortune. I was definitely unlucky tonight. Actually today is also the departure date of the Swedish ship "Gotheburg." Seeing those familiar faces on TV again, I suddenly had an impulse to fly to Sweden to meet those blond princes. 🙂 Life can’t be so peaceful like now, I need some waves though. I learned something valuable while I was watching a flick this afternoon. I was somewhat like the character Sarah (starring Jennifer Aniston) in the movie. We both are looking for adventure in life. She met two guys in her life. Guy A is someone who can bring her adventure; guy B is someone who can make a life with her. She learned from her mom’s real experience, and finally chose to be with guy B. These couple of days I was kinda impressed and touched by the song "The Right Man" from Christina Aguilera’s latest album. The rhythm is melancholic, of course! I assume as you grow older, you will start to think more about your future. It’ll be too far to think what I will be like in ten years but how about one year from now? If only a wise man came to tell me that "kiddo, it’s natural! Everyone has to go through that rite of passage."
Gees! When I change another position to sit, I feel pain right on my thigh. Better stop now! You can’t fight against you when you are not in a good shape, right? That’s where I am at now.