Searching Myself

— "I felt myself as a piece of shit."
— "No. You are not. But a lot of shits are in your life."
Hey, I am back to my pitch-dark bottomless world. There is one small window here.  I looked out of the window in depression–Mr. A has got a new job which offers him 16,000 bucks per month; Ms. B just got married and has immigrated to her hubby’s country to enjoy a sweet life ever after; Ms. C is looking for jobs with her impeccable C.V. after finishing her graduate study at a world-famous university; Mr. D is assigned to travel around places for business…
I looked at myself–too dark, I could not see anything. I lamented, "Everyone is fighting for his/her goal. I am just waiting…" Not sure what I am waiting for, I stretched out in darkness, trying to reach something to assure me that the next step will be safe and steady. I searched for a while, suddenly my toes bumped against something hard. Subconsciously my feet withdrew and my heart was beating fast. I struck a match to make sure what it was–oh, it’s only a door.
What’s behind this door?
It could be the extension of the darkness–
It could be the gate to brightness–
It could be a trap–
It could lead me to glory–
It could be an ominous start–
It could be anything. If I didn’t open the door, I would never have found out. Nothing has being so dreadfully haunting than waiting for death with someone I love so deeply. I was prepared and slowly opened the door.
Buddy, you’re right!
"I am not a piece of shit but there are a lot of shits in my life." 

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