The phone rang, and I picked up the phone, knowing it’s from home.
"Yes?" I said with anxiety.
"I took Dr. Cheng’s medicine today, and I felt nauseous afterwards. Just threw up everything," a frail voice said on the other side of the line.
"Ok, stop taking that med. How do you feel now? Dizzy? Headache? Belly ache? Heart beats fast?" My anxiety aggravates, but I tried to calm down myself.
"Feeling better after throwing up but heart aches, and have lost my appetite."
"I see. Now you have a cup of warm water gargle your mouth. If the taste of nausea stays, please take a mint candy," I suggested with great concern, "If you don’t feel like eating anything for lunch, lie down and take a long nap."
"Yes. I do feel fatigued."
"Of course. It took up your energy. That’s why you need a good rest. If your heart still beats fast, try to pace in the living room and spread out your arm to take a deep breath," I said.
"Ok, I gotta hang up now. I feel like vomiting again."
Upon the last word fell did the phone hang up. The conversation didn’t last long but every single word from mom resonates on my mind for the rest of the day. I don’t know what to do, well, perhaps I do but just not at the right moment. Whenever an emergency happens, it seems the whole world is looking at me to make a decision. I just hope I won’t misguide mom and dad. I don’t know whether mom is suffering her phase 2 misery by vomiting. If only the bug inside mom was in me, and let me suffer the pain for mom. Like Jesus carring a heavy cross on his shoulder to finish the journey on the Way of the Cross, I am ready to suffer any pain, the same or greater, as long as mom’s pain can be taken away and she will have a peaceful ending of her life.
During these days, I feel death — it’s not scary only when it happens to me. But if it happens to someone you love deeply, it’s a nightmare. God pray for my mom will be alright, pray for her to see the sunshine in her life again. Amen!