"Life isn’t that bad," said my avuncular friend on the phone last night. I was in disbelief. I opened my space this morning, finding a touching message in my previous entry. It’s from my highschool best friend Wendy. How sweet she is that she even dedicates an entry on her space to me. She says:
You have done all your best to make her happy and ease her pain. I believe she knows that, and she will be really proud of having such a daughter. I know all the things have been very tough for you these days,and sometimes it is hard to accept the truth. But you have done a great job to deal with all these unhappiness or sadness. I really appreciate your courage.
Just want you to know that,you are not alone. Even if you have to show your positive attitude in front of them,but dont push yourself too hard. There is no need to bury all the sorrow in mind and take all the responsibilities on your shoulder. Dont forget, there are still friends beside you.
As what I said before, good person deserves a good life. And she is the one that deserves the best. I still remember the lovely time that I had every time when I met her at your house. She will be fine. At least, I believe that.
Remember,wherever I am, I will be with you and your mom (althgouh i know that i maybe not a good friend according to your standard). If you need any help from me,tell me.
May all the best with you and your parents!
I really appreciate your concern, my friend! What you said really meant a lot to me. And I will cherish every word in my heart. It’s the fact that mom’s situation will deteriorate. It’s evitable that there will be a time I have to say goodbye to her for good. But maybe it’s true that life isn’t that bad in the end, although I haven’t realized how good it is yet. As the same as all the living creatures, we born, we live, we breed, and we die. To some extent, the malignant tumor cells inside my mom’s body are living the exact circle of life. In a child’s language, this is a battle between the "good guys" and the "bad guys." Unfortunately, before the battle is over, I, as the family of the victim, have already known the heartstricken consequence. The "bad guys" rule! They live but the body in which they reside will die. What a vivid example of the Darwin’s Theory of Evolution–the powerful will eventually devour the powerless.
Yes, I am nervous, I am worried, I am frustrated and I am frightened. Is life really not that bad? I bewilder. In my life, I have not yet experienced a battle which I know I will lose but I still have to keep my faith and wear a sunny face till the end. As the magazine report says, in the long run, the patient is solitary in the bout of cancer. Chinese people often say, it’s miserable having the "white head" mourned for the "black head," meaning it’s a sorrowful thing for the aged parents with grey hair attend the funeral for their young child. I must say, to myself and to my dearest mom, overall, I am a lucky child who is growing up in the cradle of love. And I outlive my mom. Our parents will grow old. For one way or another, they will leave their children eventually. It’s hard to witness the moment of separation. Our parents have given the best to us. They even dote on their only child uncondintionally. It’s not easy but natural for us, as children, to let go that emotion.
If life isn’t that bad in the end, God, please let the memories woven together with mom stay and live in my mind and grow old with me ever after.
With a sentimental blessing, to mom, good health and happy life! To my friends, have a good life on the journey of your life! Mom, I know you are watching me when I look at the starry sky.
"Sleep tight, sweetheart," mom would say,"Life isn’t that bad."
God bless, Amen!