Month of Sorrow

Tomorrow is Ching Ming Festival. The elderly are busy preparing for the festival today. Young people are helping with their family, buying flowers, buns, roasted pigs and duck eggs. Since my mom is not with me, I feel pretty lonely and emotional to spend the Ching Ming Festival. If only she was here, she would take care of every detail for the festival because she loved her deceased parents as deeply as I love her and she missed them as much as I miss her.
This month is going to be a busy month. I like being busy because that will enable me to focus on things I should do and to put aside the trouble for a while. No matter how busy I will be, I still enjoy the moment when I can sit down to meditate. I just finished Ha Jin’s "Waiting" which is a very old-fashioned story. I don’t know whether I can write better than him but I am sure about my story of China will be much more up-to-date than the one in his story. A very strange feeling that I want to read as quickly as possible has come to me. I always think my life won’t last long. Perhaps I had seen enough number of people died every day in the hospital where my mom used to stay two years ago. Anyway, I look forward to the trip at the end of this month. I hope I can relax myself a bit in the journey.
These days I think a lot about the people I love and care. Maybe because of the gloomy weather; or perhaps because I just lost a very good friend, I feel quite melancholic and sad. April, a good name for girls but it’s somewhat a month of sorrow for me. I know this is not a good time to write anything as my mind is confused. All right, let me just pray for my mom and grandparents in peace. Hope everyone who knows me is doing fine. Later!

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